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The process of planning a wedding has been interesting, to say the least. It’s even been a bit hilarious at times. Perhaps it’s because we’re both guys and neither one of us grew up thinking about our “perfect wedding day” or maybe it’s due more to our lack of understanding of what a modern wedding entails, but we were shocked at first by the amount of details involved and the total expense of having a wedding. 

In our very first conversation about the wedding—shortly after getting engaged—we agreed to a certain budget that we thought would cover all the wedding expenses. After some research and pricing out different items, we then tripled that original budget. We were very naive. 

I’ve learned all sorts of things through this process. Things like what chiavari chairs and table stanchions are. These are both items that come up a lot when discussing wedding details. Who knew?! I’ve seen countless ways to fold napkins and don’t even get me started on the different strategies of creating a seating chart. And I’ve said things I never thought I’d say, like “tomorrow we have to go drop off our cake topper at the bakery.” It’s been a total blast. 

I’ve also found that marrying a graphic designer has its perks! Josh says he isn’t a designer, but don’t let him fool you. He’s designed countless websites, advertisements, and logos and was even the creative director for a newspaper for a while. He definitely has skills, and we’ve put those skills to use for multiple wedding projects. I was thinking about posting some of the things we’ve done for the wedding, but I don’t want to spoil anything for those attending. I may write up a post at some point in the future, sharing some of our design projects. And yes, I say “our” because I provided priceless opinions on everything Josh did. 😉 

There are so many details to think about and decisions to make. More than I thought possible. At one point, I even had a list going of the different lists I needed to make. And we’re keeping things simple! There have been multiple times when I’ve made a decision, not so much because I liked the decision, but because I just needed to not think about it anymore.  

I’ve definitely come to more fully understand the term “bridezilla” and how these creatures come to be. Many people may think that I’m a pretty chill person, and I often am. But I’m also extremely detail conscious and the smallest things can affect me pretty drastically at times. I’m constantly having to tell myself (and Josh tells me all the time, too) to just relax and not worry so much about the small things. 

Just the other day, we had quite a dire situation involving coasters. 

In the early days of wedding planning, before Josh banned me from Pinterest, I saw a picture of wedding coasters that I thought were so fun. You could even have them personalized by getting your names and wedding date printed on them. I thought it would be a great item to have on all the tables, but they were a little pricey to order from most of the large print companies. So I looked on Etsy, where I found all sorts of cheaper options. I ended up ordering some of these coasters and eagerly awaited their arrival.  

A few days ago, they arrived and I immediately opened the package. To my surprise, the coasters were not the thick round cardboard coasters I was expecting. They were simply pieces of card stock with the design on it, cut in circles. I think the exact words that came out of my mouth were “I hate these. We’re not using them. I’d be embarrassed if anyone saw them.”  

Wow. Who is that person?!  

The next morning, Josh and I revisited the topic of the coasters. I told him they were perfectly fine and that people would love them. He gave me this look like that is NOT what you said last night and I told him that I realized I had been totally ridiculous, but that it was me voicing frustration that reality had not met expectations. I had a certain picture in my mind of what I had wanted and had imagined them a very specific way. When they arrived, all I knew in that moment was that they were not what I had imagined (but going back to look at the website, they described their product perfectly, so my bad). After having some time to think it over, I began to realize that they were just fine. No, they weren’t what I had imagined, but they would work just as well. No one will care how thick the coasters are. After all, they’re still cute!  

After spending so much time and money on the smallest details, I can understand how some people get really upset if something doesn’t go as it should. It can be pretty disappointing. And disappointment always sucks. But I was always told growing up that, even if your situation can’t be controlled, your attitude always can. So, for the sake of everyone involved, I’ve chosen to not be a “bridezilla.” 

You are so welcome, you guys.