We’ve received a lot of questions about different aspects of our wedding. Some of them are pretty simple to answer, so rather than writing an entire blog post for each, I though I’d write one post that covers a lot of them.
Do you have a wedding/bridal party?
Nope! Our goal from the outset was to keep this shindig super simple. While Josh and I are elated to be getting married and are excited to share the experience with our loved ones, we DID NOT want to jump through all the hoops of a traditional wedding. Having a wedding party seemed unnecessary to us. We’re in our thirties and in a place in life where we don’t feel the need to include a bunch of people in our wedding planning. We also share a lot of our good friends, so choosing sides might have been problematic. Our friends would probably have felt pressure to throw bachelor parties (which we didn’t want), maybe throw some sort of wedding shower (which we definitely didn’t want), have to spend a lot of money on suits or dresses that match (that we didn’t want), etc. Instead, we’re inviting everyone to the party as guests so they can enjoy the evening without any added pressure or responsibilities.
Who’s walking down the aisle?
Usually, the bride walks down the aisle. But what do you do when there is no bride? We thought it would be boring or anticlimactic for us to just come in from the side, so we’re both going to walk down the aisle together! Basically, we do what we want.
Are you having a garter or bouquet toss?
Well, neither one of us is going to be wearing a garter OR carrying a bouquet, so we’re scratching these altogether. Who even really enjoys these traditions anyway?
What are some things you’ve had to do differently because it’s a same-sex wedding?
Watch the wording – You have to fill out a ton of different forms when planning a wedding. A few places actually think about their different clients and have gender neutral forms. However, almost everything associated with weddings still only have one “Bride” option and one “Groom” option. Josh and I have, on multiple occasions, had to figure out which one of us was going to be listed as the bride on a form. I realize that it’s not a big deal in the whole scheme of things, but in a world that still sees our relationship as “other,” these small things reinforce the message that our relationship isn’t normal. Things seem to be changing, but gosh it’s slow.
Similarly, we’ve had to change the wording of several often used wedding phrases. Phrases like “man and wife,” “bride and groom,” “you may kiss the bride,” and “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” are all traditional phrases that almost every wedding has. It’s not hard to adapt these to our wedding, but they’re one more thing that we’ve had to watch out for, especially when it comes to our wedding vendors and the language they’re accustomed to using.
Check to see if the bakery was gay-friendly – The first thing we did when contacting bakeries was ask if they make cakes for gay weddings. There’s no way we wanted to make the nightly news with another court battle over a cake (not that we would ever press charges over a cake!). And no, we didn’t encounter any bakeries who wouldn’t bake us a cake. 🙂
Not buying a wedding dress! – We’ve heard wedding dresses can get outrageously expensive, so we’re glad we don’t need one! Josh and I will both be wearing suits, for those who are curious.
Other than that, it’s been a pretty normal wedding-planning experience, as far as we know!
Are you going on a honeymoon?
Yes! A week and a half after the wedding, we depart for our honeymoon. We’ll be in Orlando for the first couple of days, enjoying some time at Universal Studios and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter! Then we embark on an 8 night cruise to the southern Caribbean. Our plan is to relax, read a lot (I’m bringing 5 books…hopefully that will be enough!), dream about the future, and enjoy some peaceful time together. I start back at school two days after we get back, so life will go back to normal pretty quickly!
If anyone has any other questions, ask away!